Everyone loves monitoring their transformations, I don't care who you are, but do it. Transition into sickness; changing location, I view my adaptation (the bumbling and success zusammen) with pleasure. What passes? What's untranslatable? Who listens? How do people appear to listen or not to listen? Why?
I cannot help but feel special, arriving in Detroit from Paris. It's a naive specialness//attained only through not knowing the histories of those around me. Especially on the flight to Memphis from Detroit (or anywhere else I might have arrived from Europe), it feels like everyone knows eachother. Everyone has some easier, more intimate conversation...Except me? I talk, but is it intimate?
Why does that matter?
I woke up early this morning. My window open to Memphis in winter (humidity never dying, about 50 degree F) I had been dreaming I was trying to explain some mistake I made. I was speaking German outloud between dream and waking, to some supervisor figure (some sort of kestner paranoia or things to come in another work environment?)
It made me feel more connected though, to the last four months of my life.
I barely got out of my seat on the trans-atlantic flight. I could feel some types of body tissue in my legs pulsing. But I didn't care. I had a headache, came and went, and saw the latest by Ben Stiller and some English drama back-to-back. Could tell I might be getting a sore throat...
But, I wrote out plans, as I always do:
Kunst - Performance irgendwohin
idea-gender switch, -wechseln, -verwirrend
narrative (something to follow, arme Publikum)
an ending without resolution
Musik/Ton - mood/Stimmung darstellen
Use of karaoke (mundane everyday performance possible for all)
the abject-weakness and strength, catharsis
fuzzy numbers, Behauptung / Claims, Assumptions / (Ver)Urteilungen
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