Election Eve

Being so far away from "the action," I feel even more excited and desireous to participate in watching and seeing results from the election day. I spent most of the evening at the Hannover Kunstverein, where a new show opened up with work by students from the Kassel Kunst Hoch Schule in various media--most in multi-media or interdisciplinary forms. At midnight, they began live coverage of the US election with three differnt channels broadcast: CNN, Al Jezeehra and German 2DF Channel. I was proud of my chance to explain the process to my Germany friends and colleagues. At the same time, it was obsessive, the coverage and it was slow-going. With three screens in three directions and sound simultaneously circulating, we all laid down on beanbag-like cushions, chatting and staring. After 4 beers, this was luxury, I enjoyed seeing the differences in the projections or tallies from one corner of the world to another.
I contributed my vote. I participated out of a sense of duty, as an American, to choose the next president.
It makes me angry when some Americans say how Obama is trying to "appease" or appeal to foreigners or foreign states. The idea is that he should only concern himself with the US internally. In fact, the US IS concerned with partners and foreign powers, and US presidency occupant effects other lands. The people who get angry about Obama appealing to other nations or simply caring about the opinion of other nations are mistaken in their naive perception of the world as somehow separate from the US. They see the US as a superpower, alone in its high status, and alone in its decision-making. After this "financial crisis," is this also an example of the interdependency of all nations? Who fools him/herself into thinking that the US leader is not a position in which other parts of the world are interested??!
I wish that I could believe that Obama's win would signal a big change, but I do not see that. It will be a better change, but what he can change is not certain.

This event was entertainment or something to fill a space for me. This entertainment is for all the people. The audience does not want conclusion or a solution, it is believed. It only wants tension, struggle, and emotional confusion. When there is no drama, I believe many Americans look for it.

Retrospective Thoughts on Jehanne Complex

Retrospective Thoughts on Jehanne Complex
2 November 2008
The repeated rehearsing of something does not lead to lack of catharsis with each performance. This I learned clearly. The throwing of everything up and down again. Giving. Self-obsession or self–entrenchment again and again. But, it is also investment FOR people, as well as a self-congratulations. (Initial inspiration and motives, in the end, are perhaps not so important.)
First scene: “My name is Jeanne, and I’ve just eaten a hamburger.” Black men’s suit, tie, shoes and skull cap with white button-down shirt. I carry a Burger King meal bag containing a whopper, French fries, a coke and a Heinz ketchup bottle. I walk around the stage, staring at the audience suspiciously, after closing the white curtains making up the stage’s backdrop. Meditative, Middle-Eastern-sounding music comes on and I remove my shoes and meditate. After I can relax and control my breathing, I emerge from my meditation and begin to unpack the meal bag. I spread a lot of ketchup over the whopper, set out the French fries and coke, and begin to eat. I always ate three big bites of the burger (it affected my digestion).
Second scene: Microphone “Close to the town where I was born, there is a tree known as the ladies’ tree. It’s a great beech tree, centuries old. In the shade of its branches, there is a spring. In the month of Mary, children decorate the branches of the ladies’ tree with garlands. They sit beside the spring and eat together. I did that with my friends, but I never saw or heard tell of dwarfs or any other creatures of the devil… God’s voices haunt me. They never do leave me in peace. They are constantly encouragin’ and pushin’ me.” The microphone has ghosts that trick me. I speak into one and the other one produces sound. My voice is manipulated and distorted…a sort of comedy.
Third scene: Shaving The legs, like a girl, then the face, like a boy. Jehanne was sexually ambiguous with no period bleeding and breasts, and a mission from “God”. I contemplatively shave one calf in silence…getting some shaving cream on my chin, I begin to rub it along my jaw. Gospel song of “Run on for a long, long time…” I felt like a hero preparing for battle. Like Jehanne before leading an army. But then, my tormentors arrive…
Fourth scene: Hushabye Mountain The dancers, walzing in

most important things in my life

3 November 2008
What I think about emotions driving me crazy…
I value the craziness and unpredictability of life and chance…
One of the most important things in my life is conversation and mystery. Wordplay, suspicions of desire, and thinking of fulfilling desires, but they go on…they nag…they cause me to run for miles… now that I am in a “stable” environment in Germany, I start to look back ( a week ago, 6 months ago..) and truly believe that I have had mania, unstoppable, and unbearable… And the things I could have done with it now seep into my mind.
Mystery I refer to is the unfulfilled desire. There is no mystery of intention on many levels because I seek to clarify if my desires are well-placed. And then I confide or I hide my face or I face the other head-on, not knowing for sure if I will decline and take the “higher” ground.
A way of ascending past this emotional, strenuous and mysterious game is to make art. I do believe. One can set up one’s own performance, and some people will watch. And there’s a catharsis in the fantasy. The hysterical is possible in society, in company, not alone or by oneself, but sharing…
The conversation that goes on and on, with others giving and…and receiving and responding. Sympathy without dishonesty; a sort of love without dependence..in fact it feels like utter independence, yet with support. You can feel it building throughout a conversation. And I felt this relief, catharsis before, and it can never be planned or orchestrated fully. So much is chance.

http://picasaweb.google.com/brechtorama/JehanneComplexRehearsals#

http://picasaweb.google.com/brechtorama/JehanneComplexRehearsals#

http://picasaweb.google.com/brechtorama/JehanneComplex#

http://picasaweb.google.com/brechtorama/JehanneComplex#